Twas' the month before Christmas and I dreaded the days,
That I knew I was facing-the holiday craze.
The stores were all filled with holiday lights,
In hopes of drawing customers by day and by night.
As others were making the holiday plans,
My heart was breaking-I couldn't understand.
I had lost my dear child a few years before,
And I knew what my holidays had in store.
When out of nowhere, there arose such a sound,
I sprang to my feet and was looking around.
Away to the window I flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters and threw up the sash.
The sight that I saw took my breath away,
And my tears turned to smiles in the light of the day.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But a cluster of butterflies fluttering near.
With beauty and grace they performed a dance,
I knew in a moment, this wasn't by chance.
The hope that they gave me was a sign from above.
That my child was still near me and that I was loved.
The message they brought was my holiday gift.
And I cried when I saw them in spite of myself.
As I knelt closer to get a better view,
One allowed me to pet it-as if it knew-
that I needed the touch of its fragile wing,
To help me get through the holiday scene.
In the days that followed, I carried the thought,
Of the message the butterflies left in my heart-
That no matter what happens or what days lie ahead,
Our children are with us-they're not really dead.
Yes, the message of the butterflies still rings in my ears.
A message of hope-a message so dear.
And I imagined they sang as they flew out of sight.
"To all bereaved parents ~ We love you tonight."
CASSANDRA AND SANTA 1985
I TOOK THE GIRLS TO THE CHRISTMAS PARADE ON 12/6/08 AND I MUST SAY THEY DID NOT LIKE IT. THEY STARTED THE PARADE OFF WITH THE POLICE CARS AND THE FIRE TRUCKS AND THEY ENDED UP STOPPED RIGHT IN FRONT OF WHERE WE WERE SITTING AND LAYED ON THE HORNS AND SIRENS. NEEDLESS TO SAY IT SCARED THE **** OUT OF THE GIRLS. KATELYN WAS IN THE FRONT SEAT OF THE STROLLER AND HAD HER ARMS AROUND MY NECK SQUEEZING AND CASSIDIE WAS IN THE BACK SEAT AND HAD A GRIP ON MY ARM. CASSIDIE CLOSED HER EYES TIGHT AND JUST HELD ON. NEITHER ONE CRIED, BUT CASSIDIE REFUSED TO OPEN HER EYES UNTIL WE LEFT. I TOOK THE CAMERA TO TAKE PICTURES, BUT DIDN'T GET ANY AS I HAD NO HANDS TO USE LOL.
THE PARADE MADE ME THINK OF HOW CASSANDRA USE TO TRY TO RUN OUT AND GET ALL THE CANDY THEY WOULD THROW OUT TO THE KIDS. SHE WAS LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING WITH THE TWINS AND I TO SEE THEIR FACES. I KNOW THAT SHE IS HERE WITH US IN SPIRIT IN EVERYTHING WE DO, BUT SOMEDAYS THAT JUST ISN'T ENOUGH COMFORT.